The new math

A few years ago I was talking to an education major, approximately 75% through her undergraduate program. Somehow the topic of discussion wound its way to math, and how there is a change afoot in how math is taught. It is no longer enough to simply have students memorize multiplication tables. A student won't learn properly that 2x5=10 by learning tables. Rather, it is important for students to understand that 2x5=10 by learning things like, "If you have one group of 5 animals, and they meet another group of 5 animals, you will have 10 animals." I was so frazzled. I sharply replied, "Damnit, we put people on the moon using multiplication tables and slide rules. If tables were good enough then, they're good enough now!"

That introduction aside, it appears that the Crew have been partnering with Ohio State University's math department to develop some new new math (or are we on three news, now?). The new math can best be described using the following equation: 84+82+88= -6. The first three numbers represent the minute in which the Crew allowed game-tying goals at home in the first three matches. The result represents the total points lost so far by pissing away late-game leads. Instead of sitting at the bottom of the Eastern Conference table while being the conference's only winless team, the Crew could be sitting nicely on 10 points and looking down at most of the conference.

This is not the Riemann hypothesis, and solving the problem should be within the coaching staff and team's grasp. However, 20% into the season with 0 wins is not a great start for a terrible team, let alone a defending champion who returns almost all of the previous year's key components. If this problem's solution continues to elude this organization, Crew fans might have to contact the Clay Mathematics Institute to offer a Millennium Prize.

Crew home games: Game 2 v. Game 1

With the Crew's packed-to-the-rafters crowd of 7,465 for last night's home game against Colorado, BigSoccer is surely full of some people claiming that the Crew should be moved because Columbus is a terrible market, assuming of course that attendance is the sole indicator of an organization's financial health. Yesterday marks the second straight season that the season's second home game dipped below 7,500 for attendance, the two smallest crowds in Crew Stadium to watch an MLS game. Yes, we all know that the announced attendance does not equal the number of people in the stands. That fact's been stated at least 8,938 times on BigSoccer without it sticking; KKKrew gets mentioned approximately half as many times and all of a sudden foreign newspapers claim there's a Crew supporters' group by that name. Amazing.

Anyway, for reference only here is a tabulation of each season's first home game attendance, second home game attendance, percentages, and how the second game compares to the overall season average. Individual game attendances were taken from the Crew's media guide, so they're only as accurate as provided. Then again, the media guide cover states that Frankie Hejduk was an MLS Best XI selection in 2008. Season averages were taken from the MLS web site.

Year...Game 1 Att...Game 2 Att...G2/G1....Avg Att...G2/Avg
1996....25,266.......24,343......96.4%....18,950....128.5%
1997....14,485.......10,622......73.6%....15,043.....70.9%
1998....14,148.......10,121......71.5%....12,275.....82.5%
1999....24,741.......20,782......84.0%....17,696....117.4%
2000....16,095.......12,952......80.5%....15,451.....83.8%
2001....17,947.......14,488......80.7%....17,511.....82.7%
2002....18,450.......11,103......60.2%....17,429.....63.7%
2003....22,058.......12,165......55.2%....16,250.....74.9%
2004....20,356.......13,271......65.2%....16,872.....78.7%
2005....14,358.......12,449......86.7%....12,916.....96.4%
2006....20,818.......13,399......64.4%....13,294....100.8%
2007....13,782.......13,290......96.4%....15,230.....87.3%
2008....13,843........6,733......48.6%....14,622.....46.1%
2009....14,686........7,465......50.8%....XX,XXX.....XX.X%

The worst four-game start ever?

I have to admit that I quickly ran through these numbers, disgusted as I am with the Crew's four-game start to the 2009 MLS season. But as I was watching the minutes tick up, counting toward a second away defeat for the Crew this week, I wondered what defending MLS Cup champion had the fewest points after its first four games of its defending season. Assuming I read all the results correctly - no small feat when one considers (a) how quickly I reviewed them and (b) the ever-changing presentation of schedules on MLS's web site - the 2009 Columbus Crew do have the fewest points after four games. Here is the year-by-year tallies:

1997, DC United........9 points
1998, DC United........7
1999, Chicago..........9
2000, DC United........3 (so close...)
2001, Kansas City......9
2002, San Jose.........6
2003, Los Angeles......3 (note: all four were away)
2004, San Jose.........4
2005, DC United........4
2006, Los Angeles......4
2007, Houston..........4
2008, Houston..........3
2009, Columbus.........2